Check-Ins

My kids don't always get the fact that things happen that make us feel a certain way.  Mr. Duyan and I went to a training that told us to do check-ins in the morning to help the kids make this connection.  As stated by the facilitator (and restated by me a number of times), the whole point of the activity is to grasp and articulate the cause/effect relationship between events that happen in our lives, and the way they make us feel.  To help the kids, I printed out little cards with pictures of different emoticons.  We all choose a card and then explain why we chose the card:

12/16 - Check-ins

-Marvin:  "I picked this card" (holding card so only he can see it) "because I don't want Ms. C to go to Italy.  The plane is going to crash."

-Ms. C:  "I am pretty afraid of flying, Marvin, but most planes don't crash.  And what about YOU?  What's happening in YOUR life?  How are YOU feeling today?"

-Marvin:  "Oh.  Good."  (Shrugs shoulders and nods head)

-Colin:  "This one time, I went on a plane, and I was scared it was going to crash, but then it didn't, and I faced my fears, and that's what you should do Marvin, you should go on an airplane and face your fears, so then you won't be scared about Ms. C crashing anymore."

-Rick:  "Can I go next?  I picked the joyful card because I'm excited to be here with all of you, my friends, and all of my great teachers before the break."

-Ms. C:  "Rick, it's okay to say you're excited to have two weeks off school."

-Marvin:  "Really?!  Isn't that, just like, just like, jerk?"

-Ms. C:  "Nope. Most people feel excited to have time off work."

-Rick:  "Feew.  Yeah.  I can't wait to get the heck out of here today.  Sorry to say the 'h' word."

-Dash:  "Me too.  I can't wait to not have to see you guys for two weeks."

-Ms. C:  "Too far, Dash, too far.  It's okay to say you're excited for time off of an activity - activities don't have feelings.  We do."

-Dash:  "I was kidding!"

-Colin:  "Mr. Duyan... you go next."

-Mr. Duyan:  "I feel cathy today" (shows card) "and I don't have to say why."

-Al:  (raises hand) "What does cathy mean?"

-Mr. Duyan:  "You know... cathy."

-Ms. C:  "Mr. Duyan, can you explain what that word means."

-Mr. Duyan:  (sigh) "Cathy is a comic strip character.  She is a young woman who encounters many obstacles as she's trying to make her way through the business world.  She often feels discombobulated, but she is able to push on... and I'm not going to explain why I feel that way."

...I think we're canceling check-ins.

Napoleon Dynamite

Last week I was reminded that the movie Napoleon Dynamite is a GOLD MINE for social awkwardness (thanks Ms. Glee!)  Being the week before Christmas vacation, I've decided to take a break from the strenuous social skills practice that I force my kids to endure and, instead, we are writing letters to Napoleon to help him be less of a target*.

Today, as we're sitting in class watching a clip from the movie, Dash's eyes get really big.  Slowly, he looks from the movie screen, to Mr. Duyan, back to the movie screen, and his little jaw drops in disbelief.

Mr. Duyan IS Napoleon Dynamite.

*Target:  "Someone that gives people a lot of weird thoughts, so people are mean to him and sometimes we throw things at him.  Target."  -Jon

T-Shirt Tissues and Other Issues

Other Issues:

My students came in today, took their seats, and began silently working on their Do Nows like they have every morning since August.  Usually, at this point in the morning, Mr. Black is helping make copies, I am checking student progress, and Mr. Duyan is awkwardly pacing in the back of the room, often facing the corner (no joke.)  Today, however, Mr. Duyan decided to put himself to use... straightening the desks... while the kids were in them... trying to do their work... (Take a second to picture it.  You won't be sorry.)

This is when I began to notice that every single one of my students is sick right now.

T-Shirt Tissues:

When my students sneeze, they blow snot EVERYWHERE.  It is absolutely incredible.  It's not just a little snot bubble.  We're talking full snot fountains.  I've never seen anything like it...

...So, after watching my kids sneeze all morning and imagining the snot slip-and-slide that would be my room by the end of the day, I decided to address the issue.  Now, I have yet to figure out what they're doing differently that causes them to blow their snot all over the place rather than keep it in their heads like "normal" people do, so I decided to approach the matter from the "how to deal with it" angle:
1)  If you feel a sneeze coming, get a tissue and sneeze into the tissue
2)  If you can't get a tissue fast enough, sneeze into your hands, but then don't touch anything or show anyone until you get a tissue and wash your hands

Here's where Mr. Duyan decided he had some authority on the matter:

-Mr. Duyan:  "No no.  They need to be sneezing into their shoulders." (*GOD!  DUH!*)

-Ms. Cole (thinking - *Have you seen them sneeze?!?!  They blow snot EVERYWHERE! You're going to tell them to sneeze into their CLOTHING?!  Are you freaking JOKING?!*):  "I'm gonna go ahead and nix that strategy.  Let's stick with tissue or hands."

-Mr. Duyan:  "I really have to insist.  Sneezing into your shoulder is the more anatomically correct methodology."

(*Really... there's an anatomically correct way to sneeze?!  Really?!*)

-Ms. Cole (Calling Mr. Duyan over to the side of the classroom and whispering):  "So, if they sneeze into their hands, they can wash them.  If they sneeze into their sleeves, they are going to have snot all over their sleeves all day." (*And P.S. If you EVER use valuable class time in order to argue with me again, I swear to god I will tell Jon to hide your friggin car keys!*)

By the way, if anyone has suggestions on how to teach sneezing without projectile snotting, I would really appreciate it!

Are. You. Kidding.

Hi Ms. C!

Happy Wednesday! I am a Clinical Director at Ed Supports services and
wanted to check in with you re: a couple of things. I am sorry we haven't
had time to meet face to face- have been running around a bit in other ASC
classrooms, putting out fires, helping to organize, etc.

We are giving a training on 11/30 after school from 2-5 at Foster re: a
specific social skills program for ASC that can be implemented in many
situations. We are also providing staffing in ASC classrooms to help
facilitate these skills. Would love to touch base with u re: you and your
staff attending(it is in lieu of the regular training)and other ways we
can assist in your classroom.

I could stop by your class briefly on Friday if you'd like an/or the week
we return.

Thanks!




Dear K,
    I have spent the last three years designing, collecting resources for, and effectively implementing my own social skills curriculum for ASC.  In fact, many of the resources Ed Supports has distributed in the past have come from my curriculum.  I would love to collaborate, and am always interested in new resources, but find a three hour training on how to use my own materials a bit unnecessary.  Please let me know if you think those three hours will be a good use of my time.  
   When I was offered support in the past there was no follow through, and it has been very frustrating to repeatedly be offered resources, only to ultimately end up making them myself.  I think we're doing very well in terms of social skills here at BH so please feel free to spend your time following through in the classrooms that might need more support.  I know that I would have loved the additional support during my first year in ASC.


Thank you.

The New Rick

Last year Rick always did what he thought would make people like him more.  Always.  He would make things up if he thought it would impress someone.  And he would always do what the teacher asked... always.  Now, adults title this behavior "People-Pleasing."  Middle schoolers title it "Ass-Kissing."  Rick was every teachers' favorite student, and every students' favorite kid to bully.

Meet:  The New Rick

-9:25pm; Test Message from Mr. Black:  "So I asked Rick why he hasn't been changing into his P.E. clothes."

-9:27pm; Text from Ms. C:  "Oh!  Thanks so much for following up with that!  What'd he say?"

-9:30pm; Text from Mr. Black:  "'didn't get dressed 'cuz I didn't feel like it.  You heard me.'"

-9:32pm; Text from Ms. C:  "Fuck."

-9:35; Text from Mr. Black:  "Count it as a success.  We taught him to pick up on social cues... we've turned him into a normal punk ass seventh grader."

Great.

amazing

Bitchy Betty (i.e. Ms. C)

I have professional development in about 20 minutes.  Last month we learned how to assess multiple paragraph essays... most of my kids can't even SPEAK using multiple, coherent SENTENCES, let alone write them!

Here's my question:  In what other profession are employees asked to attend an hour and a half meeting once a month that HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE JOB THEY PERFORM?!

Burn-out scale today = dangerously high

Ned

Ned has been following a 7th grade girl around during lunch time:

Mr. Black:  "How can you tell when someone is interested in talking to you?"

Ned:  "They look at you and they smile at you and they face their body to you."

Mr. Black:  "Okay... so has Malinda showed you that she's interested in talking to you?"

Ned:  "No."

Mr. Black:  "Good.  How do you know Malinda is not interested in talking to you?"

Ned (closes his eyes, smiles pleasantly, and nods his head like he always does when he knows the answer to a question):  "Because she faces her back to me and she walks away from me."

Mr. Black:  "Good.  So, you have to stop following her around."

Ned (popping his eyes open and furrowing his brow as if someone just told him Christmas had been canceled for the year):  "BuT sHe'S jUsT sO pReTtY, aNd I jUsT... I jUsT... I jUsT... wAnNa LOOK aT hEr!"

Why I love teaching in room 212:

Anyone who has met an average middle schooler knows that they notice EVERYTHING related to appearance.  They are so concerned about the way they look, and the way that others look, they can hardly function.

Yesterday I got a photofacial.  I've never done anything like this before, but have been feeling a bit run down lately, so I decided to treat myself.  The way a photofacial works is that an esthetician shoots a strong beam of light onto your face.  Over the following week, all of your freckles, scars, red spots, etc. show up really dark and then disappear forever.  I'm in the "really dark" phase of the treatment.

Not a single one of my students noticed that I look like I have the plague...

Mr. Duyan

Jon (knocks quietly at the door during lunch and enters):  "So, Ms. C, a level 3 problem is when someone is getting hurt or could get hurt, right?  And we're supposed to tell you about level 3 problems, right?"

Ms. C:  "Right.  What's up Jon?"

Jon:  "Well... Mr. Duyan and Sasha spend the entire lunch period talking to each other in silly voices, and everyone thinks they're weird, and is making fun of them."

Ms. C:  "Thank you for telling me that, Jon.  I'll talk to them.  You go ahead and go back to lunch."

(Exit Jon)

Ms. Scarlet:  "So, let me get this straight... You try to teach and reinforce social skills all day in your class... and your teacher's aide is hanging out at lunch with one of your students who already gets terrorized because she thinks she is a Harry Potter character... and they talk in character voices?..."

Ms. C:  "Yup... that appears to be the case."

Ms. Scarlet:  "Creepy."

Mr. Duyan

Ms. C:  "Morning Mr. Duyan.  How was your weekend?"

Mr. Duyan:  "Terrible."

Ms. C:  "Oh no!  Why's that?"

Mr. Duyan:  "I'd like to keep my work life separate from my home life."

Ms. C:  "Oh.  Okay.  Well, hey, Ms. Scarlet was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping her out today.  She's down two aides.  She's in room 222."

Mr. Duyan (with the raised eye-brows, furrowed brow, and the 'GOD!  DUH!' voice that 7th grade girls front before they say anything):  "I don't know where that is." ('GOD!... DUH!')

*Mind you... we teach in room 212.*

Ms. C:  "It's right across the hall from Orona's room."

Mr. Duyan:  "Yeah... Alright... I don't know who that is." ('GOD!... DUH!')

Ms. C:  "You know... the science teacher for the 8th graders.  You're in his class everyday."

Mr. Duyan:  "Oh.  MR. Orona."  ('GOD!  USE HIS FULL NAME!  DUH!')

Ms. C:  "Right.  So, Ms. Scarlet is right across the hall."

Mr. Duyan:  "Yeah... I get it."

*GOD!... DUH!*

Jon

I always leave my car keys in one of two spots.  Yesterday, however, I spent about 45 minutes after school turning my classroom upside-down looking for my car keys, which seemed to have vaporized.  I looked everywhere.  Finally, I found them in the art drawer buried under a couple of popsicle sticks.  Worried I might have finally lost my mind, I started trying to come up with a rational explanation for why I would have put my keys in the art drawer.  I soon realized, however, that I had not opened the art drawer yesterday.  Jon, however, had.

Ms. C (kneeling down by Jon and in a whisper voice):  "Jon... did you hide my keys in the art drawer yesterday?"

Jon (turning bright red, while batting his eyelashes):  "Nooooo."

Ms. C:  "Hmmm... let's try this again.  Jon... WHY did you hide my keys in the art drawer yesterday?"

Jon:  BECAUSE I BULLIED AL AND THEN YOU FOUND OUT AND THEN YOU GAVE ME DETENTION AND THEN I WAS MAD!

... Awesome. 

Mr. Duyan

Mr. Duyan: "Ms. C, you made a mistake on this worksheet.  It's supposed to say 'and' instead of 'an'.  This is the third time this week you've made a mistake like that."

Ms. C:  "Oops!  Sorry about that, Mr. Duyan.  Yeah... I make all the worksheets myself and unfortunately I don't have an editor or publisher.  Soooooo... at 15 worksheets per day, there are bound to be a couple of mistakes.  I like to see if the kids catch them."

Mr. Duyan (with a look of utter disgust on his face):  "A publisher doesn't correct a writer's mistakes."

Ms. C:  "Good to know."

Rick

Rick:  "My mom died last night."  (Said with completely flat affect.)

Jay:  "WHAT?!  OH MY GOD!  REALLY?!"

Rick:  "Nah."

Ms. C:  "Rick... why did you say that if it isn't true?"

Rick:  "Well (shrugs his shoulders)... it could have happened."

You be the judge: Just an average school day, or good reality TV?

I am a middle school teacher.  To be more specific, I am a middle school teacher at a title one school in East Oakland for a classroom of 12 boys with emotional disturbances.

In my opinion, my students are the most amazing kids in the world.

According to Mr. Simmons (the 7th grade history teacher here at BH) my students are "the weirdos, annoying kids, and future socio-paths of America."

According to my dad, I should have my own reality TV show.

With this blog, I'll let you be the judge.

*All names have been changed.  The facts are real.

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG:

-My kids are amazing - you will hear about it
-A funny story every couple of days, straight from the heart of it all

-Some rants and raves about the public education system

WHAT NOT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG:

-Correct spelling, grammar, or punctuation

-Political correctness

CAST OF MAJOR CHARACTERS:

*Ms. C:  Me - a twenty-something, former UC Berkeley graduate, destined for medical school... "as soon as I can leave my amazing kiddos behind" (i.e. sac up and take the MCAT.)

*Mr. Black:  Teacher's aide #1 - a twenty-something new dad; destined for greatness... one day.

*Mr. Duyan:  Teacher's aide #2 - a thirty-something transplant from across the country... a former rhetoric major.



*Dash:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Do a materials check to make sure you didn't leave anything behind" (...like your right shoe... or your pants)

*Chuck: Age 14 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We don't throw things at teachers... even if they ask us to read."  (...Please put the desk down, Chuck, please.)

*Marvin:  Age 11 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Make sure your answer matches the question."  (...Q: When did you get to school today?  A:  Brownies?... yes, brownies... they are DELICIOUS.)

*Ned:  Age 13 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Think about your tone of voice before you talk." (...BuT i AmMm WhIsPeRiNg!)

*Colin:  Age 15 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We can't just do whatever we want whenever we want." (... I know the floor feels nice, but you can't take a nap in the middle of the cafeteria)

*Jon:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Are the other kids doing what you're doing?" (...Are you supposed to be dancing the lombata in science class?)

*Al:  Age 11 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We don't yell, scream, cuss, or cry unless we're on fire" ("Or being taken over by aliens?!?!?!?")

*Jay:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "You have to keep your eyes open when you do stuff" (...especially walk.)

*Rick:  Age 13 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Only say things if they're true." (...Did you really spend the weekend in Russia?)

*Mac:  Age 14 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Go before you need to" (...if anyone wants to donate some spare "in case of accident" pants to my classroom, they would not go to waste.)

Anyway, dad (since I know you're probably the only one who will actually read this), I hope you enjoy hearing about the never-ending amazingness that occurs in my classroom.

Love you,
K.C.