Jay

I went to Italy over Christmas Break.  We watched a lot of Game of Thrones whilst waiting out the jetlag.  In the process, a character named Grumpkin was developed.  In the show, a Grumpkin is an evil creature that lives in the uninhabited lands.  In Italy, a Grumpkin was a nice way to let the other one know that he or she was acting like an asshole.  I decided to bring this idea into my classroom.  On Monday we made miniature representations of ourselves with removable heads.  We developed a number of evil villains (like "Distraction Man.")  When an evil villain "hijacks" one of the kid's brains, we take the head off the kid's "mini-me".  So fun!

I asked the kids to make accurate representations of themselves.

-Jay:  "I'm done!"

-Ms. C:  "Excellent! ... Jay... What's that above your lip?"

-Jay:  "A mustache."

(Jay is 11 years old.  He hardly grows enough hair on his head to qualify as a hairdo, nevermind facial hair.)

-Ms. C:  "Jay... remember when I said that I wanted your mini-me to be an accurate representation?  Did you understand what I meant?"

-Jay:  "Yeah.  You said no blue hair, or, like, green faces.  You said you wanted our mini-mes to look like us."

-Ms. C:  "Right.  So... Jay... are you sure you have a mustache?"

-Jay:  "Yeah!!"  (Draws his finger across his upper lip.)  "Right here."

-Ms. C:  "Hmmm... Jay... Let me get you a mirror."

(Jay looks in the mirror)

-Ms. C:  "So... Jay... Are you SURE you have a mustache?"

-Jay:  "Yeah!!"  (Draws his finger across his upper lip.)  "See!?!"

(Jay has less hair on his upper lip than a sorority girl after a fresh wax.)

-Ms. C:  "Jay... most people don't get mustaches until about 25-years-old."

-Jay (shrugs):  "I'm lucky."

-Ms. C:  "Jay... let me show you some pictures of people with mustaches."

(Thank you google)

-Ms. C:  "So... see, Jay... you don't have a mustache yet.  You might someday, but not yet.  So, you should erase the mustache on your mini-me."

-Jay:  "...To make it accurate!"

(10 minutes later)

-Jay:  "I'm done!"

-Ms. C:  "Jay... what's that?"

-Jay:  "A beard."

Sigh