Mr. Duyan

Jon (knocks quietly at the door during lunch and enters):  "So, Ms. C, a level 3 problem is when someone is getting hurt or could get hurt, right?  And we're supposed to tell you about level 3 problems, right?"

Ms. C:  "Right.  What's up Jon?"

Jon:  "Well... Mr. Duyan and Sasha spend the entire lunch period talking to each other in silly voices, and everyone thinks they're weird, and is making fun of them."

Ms. C:  "Thank you for telling me that, Jon.  I'll talk to them.  You go ahead and go back to lunch."

(Exit Jon)

Ms. Scarlet:  "So, let me get this straight... You try to teach and reinforce social skills all day in your class... and your teacher's aide is hanging out at lunch with one of your students who already gets terrorized because she thinks she is a Harry Potter character... and they talk in character voices?..."

Ms. C:  "Yup... that appears to be the case."

Ms. Scarlet:  "Creepy."

Mr. Duyan

Ms. C:  "Morning Mr. Duyan.  How was your weekend?"

Mr. Duyan:  "Terrible."

Ms. C:  "Oh no!  Why's that?"

Mr. Duyan:  "I'd like to keep my work life separate from my home life."

Ms. C:  "Oh.  Okay.  Well, hey, Ms. Scarlet was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping her out today.  She's down two aides.  She's in room 222."

Mr. Duyan (with the raised eye-brows, furrowed brow, and the 'GOD!  DUH!' voice that 7th grade girls front before they say anything):  "I don't know where that is." ('GOD!... DUH!')

*Mind you... we teach in room 212.*

Ms. C:  "It's right across the hall from Orona's room."

Mr. Duyan:  "Yeah... Alright... I don't know who that is." ('GOD!... DUH!')

Ms. C:  "You know... the science teacher for the 8th graders.  You're in his class everyday."

Mr. Duyan:  "Oh.  MR. Orona."  ('GOD!  USE HIS FULL NAME!  DUH!')

Ms. C:  "Right.  So, Ms. Scarlet is right across the hall."

Mr. Duyan:  "Yeah... I get it."

*GOD!... DUH!*

Jon

I always leave my car keys in one of two spots.  Yesterday, however, I spent about 45 minutes after school turning my classroom upside-down looking for my car keys, which seemed to have vaporized.  I looked everywhere.  Finally, I found them in the art drawer buried under a couple of popsicle sticks.  Worried I might have finally lost my mind, I started trying to come up with a rational explanation for why I would have put my keys in the art drawer.  I soon realized, however, that I had not opened the art drawer yesterday.  Jon, however, had.

Ms. C (kneeling down by Jon and in a whisper voice):  "Jon... did you hide my keys in the art drawer yesterday?"

Jon (turning bright red, while batting his eyelashes):  "Nooooo."

Ms. C:  "Hmmm... let's try this again.  Jon... WHY did you hide my keys in the art drawer yesterday?"

Jon:  BECAUSE I BULLIED AL AND THEN YOU FOUND OUT AND THEN YOU GAVE ME DETENTION AND THEN I WAS MAD!

... Awesome. 

Mr. Duyan

Mr. Duyan: "Ms. C, you made a mistake on this worksheet.  It's supposed to say 'and' instead of 'an'.  This is the third time this week you've made a mistake like that."

Ms. C:  "Oops!  Sorry about that, Mr. Duyan.  Yeah... I make all the worksheets myself and unfortunately I don't have an editor or publisher.  Soooooo... at 15 worksheets per day, there are bound to be a couple of mistakes.  I like to see if the kids catch them."

Mr. Duyan (with a look of utter disgust on his face):  "A publisher doesn't correct a writer's mistakes."

Ms. C:  "Good to know."

Rick

Rick:  "My mom died last night."  (Said with completely flat affect.)

Jay:  "WHAT?!  OH MY GOD!  REALLY?!"

Rick:  "Nah."

Ms. C:  "Rick... why did you say that if it isn't true?"

Rick:  "Well (shrugs his shoulders)... it could have happened."

You be the judge: Just an average school day, or good reality TV?

I am a middle school teacher.  To be more specific, I am a middle school teacher at a title one school in East Oakland for a classroom of 12 boys with emotional disturbances.

In my opinion, my students are the most amazing kids in the world.

According to Mr. Simmons (the 7th grade history teacher here at BH) my students are "the weirdos, annoying kids, and future socio-paths of America."

According to my dad, I should have my own reality TV show.

With this blog, I'll let you be the judge.

*All names have been changed.  The facts are real.

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG:

-My kids are amazing - you will hear about it
-A funny story every couple of days, straight from the heart of it all

-Some rants and raves about the public education system

WHAT NOT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG:

-Correct spelling, grammar, or punctuation

-Political correctness

CAST OF MAJOR CHARACTERS:

*Ms. C:  Me - a twenty-something, former UC Berkeley graduate, destined for medical school... "as soon as I can leave my amazing kiddos behind" (i.e. sac up and take the MCAT.)

*Mr. Black:  Teacher's aide #1 - a twenty-something new dad; destined for greatness... one day.

*Mr. Duyan:  Teacher's aide #2 - a thirty-something transplant from across the country... a former rhetoric major.



*Dash:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Do a materials check to make sure you didn't leave anything behind" (...like your right shoe... or your pants)

*Chuck: Age 14 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We don't throw things at teachers... even if they ask us to read."  (...Please put the desk down, Chuck, please.)

*Marvin:  Age 11 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Make sure your answer matches the question."  (...Q: When did you get to school today?  A:  Brownies?... yes, brownies... they are DELICIOUS.)

*Ned:  Age 13 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Think about your tone of voice before you talk." (...BuT i AmMm WhIsPeRiNg!)

*Colin:  Age 15 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We can't just do whatever we want whenever we want." (... I know the floor feels nice, but you can't take a nap in the middle of the cafeteria)

*Jon:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Are the other kids doing what you're doing?" (...Are you supposed to be dancing the lombata in science class?)

*Al:  Age 11 - favorite social skill to forget:  "We don't yell, scream, cuss, or cry unless we're on fire" ("Or being taken over by aliens?!?!?!?")

*Jay:  Age 12 - favorite social skill to forget:  "You have to keep your eyes open when you do stuff" (...especially walk.)

*Rick:  Age 13 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Only say things if they're true." (...Did you really spend the weekend in Russia?)

*Mac:  Age 14 - favorite social skill to forget:  "Go before you need to" (...if anyone wants to donate some spare "in case of accident" pants to my classroom, they would not go to waste.)

Anyway, dad (since I know you're probably the only one who will actually read this), I hope you enjoy hearing about the never-ending amazingness that occurs in my classroom.

Love you,
K.C.